Every man needs a purpose; my purpose is to ban NASCAR from ESPN Sports Center. I am going to start a "Million Email March" on ESPN.com for Freedom from NASCAR.

Lets begin at the beginning – NASCAR is not a sport. It is an activity that large groups of people think is cool and has been misclassified as a sport.

Let me outline my position. I will begin with a simple intellectual argument then follow it up with a bullet proof social argument

First NASCAR does not fit in the definition of a Sport.

The definition of a “Sport” from the little pocket dictionary in my office is:

Sport n. 1. any recreational activity; specif., a game, competition, etc. requiring bodily exertion.

This argument should be over. Reading the last classification of the definition above should humiliate anyone who disagrees with me. However, NASCAR fans belong to a unique but growing group of our society that is not familiar with the dictionary or proper noun usage. Have you noticed that NASCAR has grown in popularity in correlation with reports that American students are falling behind the rest of the world?

Lets put our argument into simpler terms.

1. Who many people do you know that were on the High School, College or Intramural Race Car teams? Not many, because unlike Football, Soccer, Basketball, Volleyball, Wrestling, Water polo, Track, Baseball and Golf (yes even golf) our school systems do not recognize driving a car as a sport. School systems see driving a car, even really fast and in endless circles as “transportation.” I also do not want to hear anyone says Auto Shop. Auto Shop is a class designed to keep High School Student’s cars running and teaches students that working on cars is not as fun as it looks and you should learn English, Math and Science so you can afford new cars and avoid maintenance.
2. When is the last time you saw a Gatorade, 24-Hour Fitness, or Nike commercial with NASCAR drivers. Real sports athletes train by running and lift weights. NASCAR drivers prepare for driving careers with Atari Pole Position and late night street races. I have never once heard the word “conditioning” in relation to a NASCAR driver. When a real athlete wins they celebrate with Champaign, because it is a treat. Their body have to be so focused that even alcohol must be regulated. Have you ever wonder whey you do not look like a Basketball, Soccer, Tennis or Football player? It is because they train 8 hours a day for their SPORT. When NASCAR driver wins they drink milk, because they think it is a rare exotic beverage. Has anyone ever seen a NASCAR drivers arms or Legs? I bet they there are millions of women at Curves every day with more muscle tone then a NASCAR driver.
3. Winning in NASCAR has almost nothing to do with the driver. In all fairness, the engineers who created the car should be the only ones on the stage celebrating. They do all the work. It needs to be more like a NASA Space Launch, where all the Engineers are seen jumping up and down, in white short sleeve shirts and black ties. NASCAR is so backwards, that the people, who make the car faster and faster, are behind the scenes while the guys dumb enough to drive the car and a collection of guys who can change tires really fast are celebrated.

It has to stop. NASCAR can still be a hobby and activity for Millions on Americans, but lets categorize it properly – as an ACTIVITY. NASCAR belongs to a group that includes the Circus, Professional Wrestling, Beauty Pageants, Model Rockets and Hot Dog Eating Contests. NASCAR is not a Sport.

Next time I turn on Sports Center I should not have to wait for real sports updates, why I am updated on the moron who was willing to be strapped into a car, built to go extra fast.

So join me, in a Million Email March on ESPN.com on October 31st. Email ESPN.com the template text attached and lets save ESPN Sport Center for our children.

Let this be our generation’s fight. 

Do you agree with me? Do you have more to add? Email me – I will post you comments.

Are you ridiculous enough to disagree with me? Email me your comments – I may post them.

Do you want Poker excluded from Sport Center too? Or pro hockey? – Email me. Lets shape America one excluded lame activity at a time.